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the sun belted off you,
like i had never seen before
and it was beautiful, for a moment,
a pause in the chaos of the day
and a glance that you never caught
but is burned into my memory
for as long as my memory serves me,
so perhaps we just continue to pause
or maybe i do, as the chaos starts
rushing back, swirling over my
head, through my frail body
and latching onto my deeper fears
and shaking me back into this world.

and this chaos in my mind,
forces me to question the better
judgement of my past
and the curiosity of my
present to carve out
the semblance of a future,
where perhaps one day i can
organize and categorize my failures
into a neat compartment
to always look back on and
wonder to myself
what the hell i really am doing
and whether or not i’m ready for this.

and then, you look at me,
and the sun blurs my vision
and i think to myself that
this is a woman and intimidating as
it may seem,
i am merely a boy,
so lets change that,

– r.f.g


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